Last nite didn't sleep very well...
Fall asleep, then wake up around 2am+
Was hungry that time.. But didn't want to take any supper...
Drank hot chocolate with soy milk

Dream that i had to prepare for IELTS test. Getting ready for the test. Almost forgot to bring my liquid paper for correction. Then tends to forget other stationary as well. i was so nervous.

Woke up finally. Found myself sweating. Felt that I did not sleep at all. Was only dreaming the whole night. Kinda tired. But i didn't want to 'return' to that exam dream. Plus, i got bunch of assignments to settle.

Programs of the day,

Do assignment due next week..
Aaron's birthday dinner
Box 3 meeting
Continue with birthday program -> Paramount
SLEEEP (working whole day tomolo, may neeed a wake up call.. :( )

Lunch menu@ box

Worked abit more shift for this week. Tues, Fri and Saturday!
However, saturday would always be a day with nice menus...
Today's Lunch are :

1) Ikan PEdas!

2) Sweet and sour chicken meat balls
They kn0w that I can't take beef, hence they made a chicken meat ball for me... sweet......
They know I like spicy stuff, so they made the fish so spicy that i need to drink alot of water.

there is another dessert.. white fungus.. but i can't drink.. :( sob sob....

Rain Rain

Finally Raining liao!!!!!

I never like raining before! But today, I love it!
These few days, the weather forecast shown that it should be a raining day. However, it didn't
It's like finally the sky is letting go the tears, expressing whatever it wants.

Standing under the rain drops... Really feel so good! With the cold weather, abit of foggy vision. This reminds me of Kundasang. When I was young, I really like to go to Kundasang and stay overnight.
That would always be my weekend trip! I like the foggy vision, cooling weather. I like the wet air. Feel the flow of the air. This is one of my favourite thing i like to enjoy.

Another reason is that, the cooling rain drops reminds me, when i'm in under the sea. When you're under the water, and it's a rainy day. Rain drops hits the water surface. It's like all the stars shining brightly while you're under the water, feet not touching any hard objects. You're like floating in the middle of the sea. This is as if you're a bird flying freely on the sky above the clouds, looking at shooting stars.
That is one of the reason i love to dive!
Another best part of diving is school of jackfish, and I really mean school of jackfish (100+ of it) swimming around you. That feels EXCELLENT!!!!
I want to go diving!!!!!!!!! I want to go SIPADAN!!!! See the sharks, whales, dolphins, barracudda, turtles and find some mermaids!( haha kidding about the mermaid, they're alien! scary lah) But i'm serious that i wan to see all those!

Last reason is that, it's like the sky is finally let go all he/her unhappy feelings and 'cry'. I do not know what do you guys think about this, you guys may think I'm childish. but, this is my believe.
God is always up there, all these raining, lightning and sunny are all same as crying, angry and happy.
All my surrounding friends are facing so many problems. Really involve with different kinds of problems! Finance, Accomodation, studies, works, and etc. which is almost covers all the latest issues of the 'TV3 news' headlines!
It's like finally He's crying with us.

I just never love rains like today!!!

End of my EMO

wAo.. now is 1.35 am lor!!
Another day has passed! Time flies so fast. Everything happens so fast that I always do not have the time to catch up anything.

Been emo lately.. Too emo that I done alot stupid things. well.. I do not wan to emo anymore! I wan to be optimistic!!! Goodbye EMO!! GOODBYE MOODY!!! I do not wan to act tough again! I wan to cry whenever i feel like! shout whenever i feel like! spend and shop whenever i feel like! Sing k! clubbing and etc! I do not wan to keep everything inside and take too serious over some timid things!

Dear pris,
I hope you well. I pray hard that you're gonna have the best solution out of all!
Dear swing san.. you too!
Dear yi wen san, all the best~!
みなさん！！！！！がんばで！！！！！！！

Wao.. unexpected everyone can wake up today! All my gangs went for drink and club yesterday.. But today they all able to wake up and all at the time set! Wao.. i'm impressed!!!!




Thought is all girls out? actually it's not.. still go swing with us. All his photos at FB. For more
details pic, look at FB lah...

As mentioned at the last post, I was totally moody and emo.
Just finished talking to Pris.. It's been so long i never had a chance to chat with her.
She's can sense that i'm not happy, can sense that there is something i did not tell her. Only when i'm with her, i am able to express and let go all my feelings. So i told her all my unhappy things.
She's true one of the things... I always compare the importance level of the incident. How you gonna compare which one is more serious and which is not. What's the point ? everything kept to myself and cant let go, only make myself suffer. Then even the tears are controlled... and stay emo.
I used to think shopping, eating, singing, etc will help me to release all the unhappy. Singing will.. but for a short term.. Cry is the fastest way. I can't cry these few days.. not until i talked to pris. She always have to hear me crying! hahaha...

So many unhappy things.. Really beh tahan.. Even me myself can't see where's the main problem.. But she saw it.. and she told me... which is like.. Damn.. i'm gonna suffer for another few months.. until i really learn to let go, or....................

but pris.. it's really not your fault at all....

My Lunch @ Box

Guess what is my lunch today????

Ta DA!!!!!!!!! Crabs!!!!

I was so shock when I saw these crabs! I'm truly are so touched when my friend, David bought me these crabs and cooked it for me!

Here's the cook! David

Deep fried crabs (without sauce)

Thank you David...
I was really touched and this is the first time I had such a nice meal when i'm still working in box.
You really brighten up my day.

I was kinda lost and moody these few days. So lost that i did something stupid. Dizzy.. and vomit.. Can't even stand straight at all. Why did i do it? I do not know.... just lost... So lost that I have no one to talk to..

My dear friend, would not come back anymore.. this is already the saddest thing...
then, some other stuffs... as well.. abit here and there..
I couldn't control myself.. No.. I should say.. I controlled my tears too well that, i can't express out how lost i am.. I can't let go .. I keep everything inside.. so suffering..
Now i know what is the meaning of : if you dun keep it to yourself, you'll feel much better.

Today was not that busy.. i had to sign out earlier than i expected. It's not that i don't want to sign out. I was afraid to go 'home'. I'm afraid this home and room.
This is the room where i do stupid things.. this is the room everything i do.. this is room where i sad, happy, moody, bored, and etc. This is the room i'm afraid to go.. I don't want to go home. but i do not have anywhere else to go......

It's hard for me to face all these by myself. Just as predicted by the quiz from facebook, I'm a frightened child. I just smile and nod not because I do not have comments and etc. I'm just too afraid to give any comments. I'm afraid to say anything.

So happy Wei Han, you really cook me crabs.. I'm truly touch! Nearly cry de lor..... thank you.. I really never expect this...

Choices

What is correct and what is wrong?
Which choices will lead me to the correct path?
What is the future?
I hate to make decisions.
I always let others to make the decisions for me
My future is in other people's hand
Is that the future I want?
Are they thinking for my own good? or for their own benefits?
I do not know...

Sometimes need to stand firm on the decisions
But will that be a good choice?
Will that be better or worse?
I'm just too afraid to see the consequence of my choice
I do not want to repeat the same circle again
It's like a curse
I want to be out of the circle.
I want to live like everyone else.
Nothing to hide

What would be the right choice?